What Your Teen's Therapist Wishes You Knew: 7 Insights for Parents

Parenting a teenager can sometimes feel like trying to solve a puzzle where the pieces keep shifting — frustrating, confusing, weird at times, and incredibly rewarding when things start to come together.

Therapy can be one important piece of that puzzle.

As someone who walks alongside teens one hour at a time, I want to share a few key points I wish every parent knew about supporting their child’s mental health and wellness journey.

Even as they grow and change, your teen still needs the steady reassurance of your connection, just in new and evolving ways.

1. There’s No Such Thing as a Perfect Parent (And That’s Not the Goal)

No judgment here: this is your first life and your first time parenting this child through this season. Parenting a teenager doesn't come with a universal handbook — and it can feel that much harder when there are concerns around supporting your teen's mental health. The good news here is that your child doesn't benefit from the myth of 'parental perfection'. Instead, they benefit more from your efforts to be interested in their internal and external worlds, presence, and repair when mistakes or are made. The goal isn't to get it all right, it's to stay engaged when things get messy.

2. Your Willingness to Learn and Stay Curious is Powerful

When you approach your teen with curiosity instead of criticism, you open doors instead of building walls. Just as this is your first time parenting, this is also your teen's first time living in their bodies, which can be overwhelming for them given hormone changes, shifting social rules, academic demands, and more. All behavior is communication that something is off or a need isn't being met. Being curious about your teen's 'rude' response or other uncharacteristically strong (and out of the norm!) behavioral manifestations helps to build emotional connection with your teen in a tough moment.

3. Therapy Isn’t About "Fixing" Your Teen

I can't 'fix' your teen or their behavior — there's nothing that is 'broken' and therefore in need of fixing. My role is to empower, challenge, and nurture teens and families to grow, communicate, and advocate for their needs effectively. Therapy is a powerful tool that can provide help for struggling teens, but it is only one piece of building mental health, wealth, and resilience. Lasting change happens when teens are consistently supported in the home by supportive adults that are committed to seeing them as they are and leaning away from the myth of perfection.

4. Trust and Confidentiality are Key (Within Healthy Limits)

A major part of helping your teen feel safe in therapy is by respecting their confidentiality. I will keep you in the loop around important themes and safety concerns, but I also ask that parents limit their questions about what their teen is talking about or doing in therapy. As a part of trust-building within parent-teen communication, I often work with kids on how they can initiate open, honest, and kind conversations with their parents where they feel empowered to talk about the tough things and trust that they have the skills to navigate uncomfortable topics with confidence. After all, trust is the foundation for meaningful change and therapeutic information sharing means so much more when it comes from your teen directly.

5. You Are Your Teen’s Biggest Influencer (Even if It Doesn’t Always Feel Like It)

I only see your teen for one hour each week — you are part of their world every day. Your patience, encouragement, and even your apologies have an enormous impact on your teen’s emotional world. Small moments of connection add up in big ways over time. As your teen's biggest cheerleader, it is also critical to prioritize your needs and regulation. Without a designated space to "put on your oxygen mask first", supporting a teen can feel lonely and overwhelming at times for all parents.

6. Focus on the Basics

Therapy is a powerful and holistic support, meaning that it takes into consideration basic needs like receiving adequate sleep, eating nutritious food, felt safety in the environment, and familial connection (think Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs), physical activity, spiritual needs, and felt sense of belonging. When foundational survival needs are met, then emotional needs can be attended to. With teens that are struggling, we often look at sleep hygiene, screen-time patterns, school pressures, and family rhythms as areas where more attention might be needed.

7. I Want to Hear From You!

While therapy is a private space for your teen, your voice is incredibly valuable in the therapeutic process. I want to hear from you — about what's going well, what's feeling hard, and what patterns you’re noticing at home. Your insights help create a fuller picture of your teen’s world and guide the work we do together. I encourage open communication where parents feel safe sharing concerns, celebrating progress, and partnering with me to support lasting change. After all, you know your child better than anyone, and your perspective is an essential part of their healing journey.

Parenting a teen through the ups and downs of growth, stress, and healing is no small task. Therapy is most powerful when it’s a collaborative effort between the teen, the therapist, and the family. Thank you for showing up, staying curious, and being willing to walk this journey with your teen. Your support matters more than you know.

If you're curious about if therapy could support your teen, I'm happy to talk with you! Reach out today to schedule a free consultation.